Preparing For The Journey Of Birth
Labour and birth is very much like a journey. There is a start and a finish with all sorts of twists and turns, highs and lows along the way. As with any journey, we can give ourselves the best opportunity to have a positive, empowered experience in the ways we plan and prepare.
Let’s look at this literally. If we know we’re going on a huge car journey across different countries, we should consider the weather conditions, supplies, terrain, cultures, laws and values. It would be unwise and unsafe to impulsively jump in blindly, ill-equipped, and unacquainted with the territories.
We would plan various preferred routes should some roads be blocked or finding you stuck in traffic. We would likely bring a packed bag with essential food, water, clothes and toiletries etc. We would probably choose to journey with people we love and trust, and make sure our car is ready to safely drive the distance. We would make sure the car is comfortable to be in. We might choose things to keep us focussed with a positive mindset - perhaps with favourite music, fun and no fighting! We may get our vaccines and learn the basics of the languages of where we are going. We might learn what laws apply to us and know where the embassies are. We should understand the culture and learn how to communicate with mutual respect. We would protect ourselves against known risks and people who may not have the best intentions. When planning our journey, we also may do better with help and guidance from those that have journeyed before us.
It is also important to note that even with all this preparation, we can’t control how other drivers will drive around us and what has influenced their driving abilities - whether they’re over-exhausted, incapacitated, ignorant of road laws, and overly cautious about not hurting anyone or getting in trouble. We can service our cars beforehand, but can’t ever be certain parts of the car won’t get randomly damaged along the way. We can’t be sure we the drivers or passengers won’t catch a virus and need medical treatment/help. The reality is, there are sadly always going to be some rarer cases where no matter how prepared we are, how excited we are or how confident of a driver we are, unforeseen challenges and trauma can and will arise. If we find ourselves here, there are people who can support us, rehabilitate us, and help us move forward and get to safety.
We can apply all of this to birth. Here are some things we can do to plan ahead and prepare:
Plan various preferred routes we want to take should challenges arise (c-section, induction, birth place, our birth values should worst case scenario happen).
Pack our bags with nourishment, necessities and comfort items for when we need, for peace of mind.
Journey labour and birth with trusted loved ones, such as a partner, friend, parent or doula.
Make sure our body is nourished and fit to endure the journey.
Make our environment comfortable. We may play spa-like music, and keep focussed with affirmations and visualising our contractions.
Make informed choices about what is best for us and our circumstances/values.
Educate ourselves on the NHS culture/challenges here in the UK (or your healthcare systems elsewhere)
Learn our rights and how hospital policy works.
Learn techniques in how to advocate for ourselves and what risks/benefits we may face being in different birth places.
Learn to recognise when we may be being coerced or not given the chance to give informed consent.
Acknowledging that we live in a world where no matter how much we do, sometimes challenges and trauma may occur by no fault or blame of anyone, but knowing that if we find ourselves in this position, there are people to care for us and help us find a way to safety again.
All of this comes back to control and ownership.
Positive, empowering birth isn’t about breathing a certain way, listening to certain Hypnobirthing tracks or only birthing vaginally at home without pain relief.
Positive, empowering births are about ownership. It’s about feeling safe, loved and cared for. It’s not about having all the answers and being able to control every single thing. It’s about having the skills, choices and peace to confidently navigate the known and unknown roads of birth. It’s knowing you may not have all the answers and directions now, but you can always find your way.
Planning for birth won’t steal the joy away from the journey or make it something to fear. It doesn’t “jinx” it. It means we give ourselves the best opportunity for a positive experience of birth amongst all the things we can control. Even if things don’t go to plan, you can be equipped to face these challenges with peace and resilience. You can still have your values acknowledged and respected where possible.
Here at Manna Birth, we really want you to have the most beautiful and positive journey of birth and postpartum. In doing so, we need to acknowledge that in order for this, we need to be equipped, embraced and empowered with information and loving care & support.
We will do all we can to provide this for you. We hope that you can be a voice of support for your loved ones navigating this journey for the first time too.